First real date,  first real guy. (hilarious) 

First date.  

Table set,  flower vase beautifully aligned in center.  A tray full of chicken wings and a bottle half empty with contents that seem like juice-orange juice , if I  remember rightly. His face,  all smiles.  And mine??  Well,  I was pretty shy.  Head bowed,  looking at nothing in particular. Just keeping my face away from sight. I remember not wanting to look too naive. 

I didn’t  want to show it was my first time on a real date,  with a real guy. 

“Jasmine ” he calls out. 

Immediately, my heart halts –  and suddenly  I’m  gasping for air to utter my words.  

” Kwa–Kwame ” I stammer in response.  Ashamed,  I bow my head even lower. 

” Are you that shy?  You won’t even look me in the face?? ” he says in between laughs. 


” Is it that obvious? “I ask, now a little less tense.

He nods in approval. 

Raising my head slightly, this is definitely not how I had things planned for a first real date,  I remember saying to myself. 

I take hold of my cutlery in an attempt to eat my chicken. The funniest thing happens next. So I’m slicing,  I’m slicing and for close to a minute,  I’m still slicing that same piece- amazed, I wonder inwardly why it’s taking me a  great deal to slice a piece of chicken. 

my cutlery knife must be blunt or something, I think. So I look down on the plate and it turns out I was using the blunt side of the knife all that while. 

“Aba!! Am I this dumb?” I laugh out- but only heavens know how embarrassed I am in my mind’s eye. 

He laughs too. Well ,  that’s good, I think, at least he finds me hilarious. 
We talk for a while and we’re starting to click fine.  Our conversation gets interesting and most importantly,  I’m not fumbling with my words. I like how this is going  I’m thinking to myself. 

“Do you care for more ketchup? ” my date asks. 

” Yes,  sure. ” I say while nodding.  He hands me the bottle of assorted tomato paste. 

I squeeze the bottle a little too hard and its red contents spill out unto  my beautiful yellow dress. 

I dare not complain or overreact, I say to myself, ” keep calm,  Jasmine, you’re doing fine, keep calm. ” 

Lies.  But they are comforting. 

He offers me tissue to wipe the stains – like that would work. 

I excuse myself to the ladies – I’m thinking a moist towel could reduce the stains. 

And now I’m looking in the mirror stuck on the wall of the ladies room asking myself, “Was this even worth it?” 

Photo credit :Getty images


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